Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.' Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. 'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .


Note to Saving Your Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE HER

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely. You must remember when she forgets. You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention. She remembers when you forget. You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good. You must learn her. You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to. You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept. And, this is how you keep her.


1st of the Month 7 For All Mankind Alexander McQueen All about Philippines Antulang Beaach resort April links AVIDA TOWERS Baby Back Ribs Back in each others arms Bacolod City Balbagan Festival Balmain Basilica bat watching BC Bloggers Secret beach being a daughter being a sister/friend best things are free bird photography Birth control method Black and White Black Forest Cake Black Saturday with friends Blog contest bloggers exchange blue monday blue teddy bubble buhayOFW BULB Burberry Camera Critters Campomanes Bay Casa Verde Cathedral CBRC days CC cebu trip Celebrities to die for Chanel chin chin and dhe chin in gown Chin's 1st Birthday Chin's Birthday chinese new year Chocolate Cake christmas party Church Visit Cole Haan color connection colorful weekend communication CONDOMINIUMS congratulations Cotton Candy couples corner crazy over purple saturdays cry baby Daddy and baby DANNIJO denial Dessert Diane von Furstenberg divorce Dorothy Perkins Dr. Carl Balita Drinks Dumaguete City earthquakes Egypt Elizabeth Arden ending endless love falling in love Fantasy Jewelry Box fashion fear feelings Final Coaching Pink Day fitness Five Question Friday flower arrangement Foods to die for FOR SALE forbidden Friday 5 Friends FTF Gadgets to Die for Galeon Andalucia girl girl thing Girls Talk GirlsTalk Givenchy God wants you to know goodbye Graduation graduation pic Green Beer Green Cookies Green Monday GT guy who cares happiness happy birthday happy men Happy Mother's Day happy teachers day HARRISON heart vs mind heartbreaks Hello Kitty Henri Bendel ho to have sex appeal honey are we lost? hospital How do I live without you how to join how to understand a girl How We Celebrate Our Togetherness how's I am a NURSE I Cried A river ice cream ICU interest intuition iPhone J.Crew JB Jeffrey Campbell job Just Me Kabankalan City KBL Eyewear Kendra Scott Key chain keys keys to a happy marriage kids in doodles King's Burger L'Fisher Hotel L'Occitane Landmark Lapu2x Shrine LDR LDS letting go life love love notes love questions love story Lover LSS Macro Monday Mag-aso Falls Magellan's Cross magician make someone fall for you making decisions Mambukal Resort Marni marriage Matthew Williamson me in toga meme men men 101 Michael Kors Miss Selfridge MM mm's Mommy and Me moral lesson motivation movie review Music I Cried music I fall for Music I hate Music Notes music that made me smile my group my random thoughts my sis My World NARS Cosmetics new year NLE result Nursing Orange orange Tuesday OUR LOVE STORY our wedding day outdoor Outdoor Wednesday Owls parable of a pencil parrots Petty Quarrels PF Philippine news philosophy pink saturday pink theme poem polyvore porcelain doll Pork Strips with Veggies potty training Proenza Schouler Profession Prosperity Summit Punta Bulata random Ray-Ban reality reality speaks Red relationships Resorts Restaurant Rick Owens rock and roll friday Roxy Slipper Ruby Tuesday Scarlet Wednesday Scenic Sunday Selecting Care Givers Shadow Shot Silver Linings Simala single Sinulog sipalay city Skin Cancer Skywatch Snake SOOC Saturday SOOC Saturday and Sunday SOOC Sunday sorry St. Patrick's Day stolen shot stop strawberry Stress Management style summer Summer break summer outfit summer plans sunday stealing Sweet Saturday SWF take action Talking Tom Taoist Temple temper tantrums The Japanese thegeekgoddess time will heal toddlers travel truth about girls Uniqlo Versace Wallis Watery Wednesday we're engaged wedding gown Wednesday Whites Weekend Black and White weekly memes When getting ready When he doesn't like what I cooked white beach with hubby World Teachers' Day WW Yellow mellow monday YS Yummy Sunday
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Template by:

Free Blog Templates