Thursday, October 10, 2013

Enjoy Being Single

I'm single because I was born that way. - Mae West

If you're fixated on being part of the couple, here are some reasons to savor your singleness.

In a couple-driven consumer marketing society, you're bound to come across people who wonder why you're single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling to that ideal as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is "wrong" with you if you are single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don't have to defend your right or being single, just like it's rude to attack the validity of someone's relationship. Just say "I prefer being single" and change the subject or mention that statistics show that 1/2 of all people are single.

Being single doesn't have to mean being lonely. When you're single, you have more time to do variety of things. All of which are opportunities to forge new friendship. Even if you're an introvert, this can be excellent time to nurture your extroverted side. But social butterflies can grapple with loneliness too. Make it a priority in your life to create meaningful friendships and enrich your existing one's. Learn how to talk to strangers. Or if you're already good at that, how about how to hug a stranger? Practice communication skill that will improve and deepen friendships: How to be a good listener and how to practice nonviolent communication. Get better at dealing with difficult people. Read how to cultivate compassion in your life and how to deal with impossible people and who knows? You might find a friend where you previously only found frustration. be optimistic. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you want to be happy. Research show that the number one ingredient for happiness, by far, is optimism.

Everybody has radical little fantasies... and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for. So what are you waiting for? Find some people who have the same idea, or just go for it alone, and you'll meet like-minded people along the way. How to start living in a tiny house - much more easily done when you live by yourself! Camp as a lifestyle - not easy to do if you have a significant other who isn't as enthused about the outdoors as you are. How to travel on a very limited budget - radical ideas for shoestring travel. Become a hobo - not something that easy to pull off if you're in a relationship with someone who's location is fixed. Grow your own food - this takes up a lot of your time, and is ridiculously hard to pull off in a relationship if your partner isn't as passionate about it as you are. However, it's a good activity to try.

Classic relationship advice dictates that compromise, sacrifice are essential to a healthy relationship. Perhaps if you've been in a relationship before, you realize how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. Or maybe you forgot about that stuff, because you're focused on the things you miss. Well this is a good time to shift that focus. If you're a slob, isn't it great to be able to leave your stuff laying around, without anybody minding? If you're a neat freak, isn't it wonderful to be able to organize everything, and find it the way you left it? Isn't it nice to be able to cook and eat and enjoy foods that a partner may averse to? Isn't it cool to be able to go out spontaneously, without wondering whether your partner can or should be invited? A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.

Cherish the excitement. Relationships tend to come along with planning -- for example, you can't just accept a job across the country without touching base with your significant other. And generally, if you're in it for the long haul, you'll likely talk about what you'll be doing years from now. But when you're single, the future is completely open. Today you're at your desk, and a year from  now you might be camping in Alaska. Right now you're single, but tomorrow you might meet your soul-mate. who know? Fantasize. Be spontaneous. Be bold.

Being married is a "lifestyle choice" and not a "requirement." Therefore, being single is a "lifestyle choice" and not a "default option." It is possible to CHOOSE to be single. There are advantages to being married just as there are disadvantages to being single, as well as disadvantages. Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.

Be grateful for what you have. Many people in the world don't have what you have. Be sociable, go out and have fun and meet new people, just because there is no one in your life yet doesn't mean there never will be. Take your time and wait for the right person!! Just be you, you know yourself better than anyone. Say yes to every opportunity to learn, grow and meet new people. Decide for yourself if there are aspects of your life or your personality that you would like to change and do it. You are your best evaluator. You don't need to listen to those people who tell you that you are single because you are too "picky", too fat, or too old to meet someone else. Being single doesn't mean your life is over , go out there and be proud of who you are and be comfortable with yourself. Remember, confidence is key. Ignore the toxic people in your life. It is easy to recognize them. Their negative words of fear and discouragement sap your energy. Invest in yourself. Save some money and get professional massage. Get a manicure and pedicure... anything that nurtures your body and lifts your spirit. Shift your thinking from "I'm sad and lonely" to "I'm happy and free." Try to enjoy not being tied down, and the freedom to flirt and mingle with other singles. If you feel you need someone in your life, have confidence. Even if you see other couples all happy  and all your friends have someone, remember that when the timing is right, that special person will come along. It just may not be the exact same time your friends' meet someone. Look in your local newspaper for opportunities to join a service club or volunteer with an organization. Look in your church newsletter for church related activities if that makes you happy. Check the continuing education program at your local community college to see if there is a class that you would like to attend. To be happily single, it shows that your happiness doesn't depend on other people. Be yourself, not just a single mom, remember you have needs too, you deserve the odd treat. You can learn new things from anyone you could possibly meet, but be careful; choose people who teach you in a positive way rather than a negative one. Some lessons are better learned through observation, rather than experience.


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