Thursday, March 10, 2011

How Do I Live Without You?

I've said in my previous post that me and Joey have lots of differences and one is for being too jealous with other guys around...Taray! feeling ko naman ang haba ng hair ko...*wink*...But we came to a point that we decided to move our separate ways eventhough we know deep in our hearts we still love each other only that we're tired and sick of always arguing with just small things...Para kaming mga aso't pusa na parating nagbabangayan...
It was 1st of November last year, I went back home to surprise him, cos' previously I told him that I couldn't make it kasi magastos sa pamasahe from Cebu to Negros...Good thing my uncle sponsored my fare vice versa. When I arrived home in Binalbagan, I told him to come over our house for lunch with my MIL and BIL cos' t'was my granny's birthday...Even before that were together he always checks my phone messages...so ganun yung nangyari...When he arrived, the first thing he checks was not me but my phone, so I lend it to him..then he read the messages in it and saw the messages sent to me by an admirer who's a review mate at CBRC..but the guy knew that I'm already committed and had a baby...but he was so insisting to wait kasi ba naman daw hindi pa kami kasal ni Joey and he can't blame himself for his feelings for me...yet I told him that hanggang magkaibigan lang ang maibibigay ko sa kanya...and I ignored him and moved away kasi habang tumatagal, I'm feeling uncomfortable with his gestures...I told him if he wont stop what he's doin' I'll just forget that were friends at once..By reading, Joey was so mad ba't di ko raw sinabi sa kanya what was happening at Cebu...and I told him that it's difficult tellin' him sa text....that's why humanap talaga ako ng way to be home, and for us to talk about it...anyway, para wala namang issue with it kasi di ko naman inintertain yung guy...and he knows naman na sya lang yung love ko...*char!*...but he didn't want to listen to my explanation...he was so deaf for me at that moment...and I feel it was so unfair for me not to explain my side...sumama talaga yung loob ko and I told him if ganun kami always, it would be better for us to be separated...kasi wala naman siyang trust sa akin, and ganun din ako sa kanya...much better that we'll just focus with our baby...then he called our parents to come over the room and told them of what we've decided...So they agreed and supported us even though it was against them...Before I went back to Cebu I visit my sis and best friend at the cemetery..

I continue my review though it was very difficult to focus...He was still texting me but we just end up arguing that sometimes I just ignore him para di lang mag-away..but hindi pa rin siya sumuko kahit na inaaway ko siya and I told him maybe would be better for us to be just friends but he doesn't want to, he wanted us to be together again but I don't want yet...And almost a month that I didnt texted him but he was still sending me messages..Deep inside me I'm yearning for  him, but I have to stand by my decision...and made me realize that I was being unfair to him and was so stupid at that moment...I texted him and reconciled pero siya naman yung umiiwas.. and made me thought it was really over for both of us..then we never communicated since then...It was our final coaching's end and 2 days later will be my board exam...yet he didn't message me...I attended a mass and have my confession with the priest and a verse from Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."...I told myself, maybe I was too pre-occupied with alot of things that I forgot to come to Him...and I prayed that He'll guide me to he right path and whatever His plans for me I'll gladly accept it..

I went home and just received a message from him wishing me luck for my board exam...and asked him if he could gave me a chance for a talk when I get back home in Negros...and we did...Last December 24, I went to their house para ihatid yung baby namin and we had a long conversation that he didn't want me to go home...so I stayed there and we make up...I was happy knowing that were back in each other's arm again...and he reminded me that it was our anniversary that day and kissed me so much that he didn't want to let go...He told me how much he misses me and so do I...We make promises to each other for our relationship to be better...and til now we're keeping that promise...

One thing I've learned that we should never make any decisions right away especially when we're mad cos' sometimes kahit hindi natin sinasadya, ang sinasabi na pala natin ay nakakasakit na sa iba, and we'll realize that we're stupid in the end and think many times before making any decisions...if it would be good or bad for both...Another is eat much, para maiwasan ang away, studies shows that the more you're hungry the more you'll become angry...Lastly, Boys are blinded by what they see and girls are too deaf with what they hear...sometimes as couple's we need much more understanding and patience for each other though its difficult...but we must practice it for the sake of our relationship...

My entry for CC by Mommy Liz of Rodliz Nest

5 beautiful crazy thoughts:

Clarissa said...

Minsan talaga ganyan ang nangyayari lalo na pag nadadala ka na sa emosyon mo,nagiging bingi ka talaga.Despite of what happened,buti na lang at nagkabalikan kayo at naging ok uli kayo^_^

Thanks for dropping by!

Ai KaiRui Liu said...

oo nga, di ko naman sya kasi matiis and I was thinking also of our daughter na lumaki with a broken family...cguro we need to widen our understanding be patient in each other...

thanks for leaving some comment...;)

Chuchie | Chie Wilks said...

nkakainlove naman kaung dalawa...i enjoyed reading your story..tama nga namang minsan nkakasakit tayo through the words we say when mad...

Mommy Liz said...

You're right when you are mad, there's a tendency that you can say or do something that you will regret at the end. That's why you have to cool down first and wait til the anger subsides. At least after na maghiwalay kayo for couple of months, you realized you were both stupid to get carried away with your anger in the first place and now ok na kayo di ba? so next time usap muna bago maghiwalay..

niko said...

kaya nga daw sabi quiet na lng pag mad :) good thing kiss and make up p rin ang ending nyo :)

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