Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple creatures? His last name stays put.
The garage is all him. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. He can be President. He can never be pregnant. He can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. He can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell him the truth. The world is his urinal. He never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. He don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at his chest when he’s talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle his feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. He know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. He can open all his own jars. He get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite him, he can still be your friend. His underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. He almost never have strap problems in public. He is unable to see wrinkles in his clothes. Everything on his face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. He only have to shave his face and neck. He can play with toys all his life. His belly usually hides his big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes. One color for all seasons. He can wear shorts no matter how his legs look! He can “do” his nails with a pocket knife. He has freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. He can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. He don’t freak out when he goes to a party and see another man wearing the same shirt,instead they become buddies.